The quotes below are excerpts from the following sites:
The Opinionated Beer Page (http://www.tobp.com/other/beer_quotes.shtml)
Bitter Root Brewing (http://www.bitterrootbrewing.com/beer_quotes.html)
Bar Shots.com (http://www.barshots.com/beerquotes.htm)

"Everybody has to believe in something.....I believe I'll have another drink." -W.C. Fields
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." -Dave Barry
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." -Humphrey Bogart
"An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer." -Confucius
"If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose." -Deep Thought, Jack Handy
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed - Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'" -Deep Thought, Jack Handy
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." -Ernest Hemmingway
"I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer." -Abraham Lincoln
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." -Dean Martin
"A bar is better than a newspaper for public discussion." -Jim Parker, on the importance of a healthy pub culture
"He was a wise man who invented beer." -Plato
"Beer needs baseball, and baseball needs beer - it has always been thus." -Peter Richmond
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." -Frank Sinatra
"I never met a pub I didn't like." -Pete Slosberg, Founder of Pete's Brewing Company
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." -Henny Youngman
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." -Frank Zappa
"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?" - W.C. Fields 
"Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder." -Anonymous 
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy." -Tom Waits 
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?" -Stephen Wright 
"Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems." -Homer Simpson
"Remember "I" before "E",except in Budweiser." -Anon
"I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer." -Abraham Lincoln